Solstice

I guess technically the solstice is tomorrow, but I want to push that thing aside now.

It's been a struggle getting to it. I'm not a fan of long cold dark nights to begin with, but this turnaround back to the light has been extra-significant this year. My blog title is no longer accurate. It's not even 2XX days to go, but something close to 182.5ish, give or take a week: in other words, HALFWAY. Halfway through this deployment. The 3 months or whatever of training my husband went through before the deployment doesn't count. Still, he has been away for 9 months already, which has made the first six months of the actual deployment seem extra long. But they're behind us now and I can rest a little more. I feel a lot lighter.

I've been keeping myself busy in my husband's absence, and certainly I'm not one to hinge everything onto a husband (much as the army would like me too, lol) but being with him does enrich my life and we have a lot of fun doing various things together. To have him suddenly gone for over a year was hard to handle, so I had to break it down a bit. Hence the significance of this solstice, which was so conveniently placed.

It's strange that something as insignificant as a date (which isn't all too accurate anyway) can nevertheless bring such hope. It's like the middle of a race, sometimes, one which isn't going very well. Struggling to get to the halfway point dredges up all sorts of negative thoughts. If it's this hard already, what's it going to feel like during the 2nd half? And then, an inauspicious turn around, a pylon, or timing mat, or even just a blip on a Garmin, and suddenly everything changes for the better. The brain realizes that the majority of the challenge is gone, and so it eases its iron grip on the body's reserves, and a cloud is lifted.

Then the hurt and all comes flooding back...BUT it's still ever so slightly better.

Which is where I am now. It helped that it was sunny today. Cold as heck, but sunny. I slept in and enjoyed waking up to a room bathed in light. I dithered for a bit over the yoga class, and then decided to just go for it. I can do 5 sun salutations, what's another 103? So, a few sips of pop and some almonds (I failed breakfast today), and I was off to yoga. I had run out of classes, and I was going to buy 5 more, but I'm kind of low on funds already, so I bought one class, ripped off my outer clothes in the change room, and entered the class as that last person who doesn't quite fit so others gracefully make room while wondering why it is that they always have to do so, despite being more conscientious about getting there with plenty of time to spare. LOL

I was that last person to enter the class--apologetically--but there was room, and we got to it. It was really a fun class. Tough in many ways, and it was appalling how I couldn't keep count. We did the sun salutations in sets of 20, which seemed bad enough, but the breathing and concentration helped. But it seemed that I'd already done heaps, and then I'd hear that we had done almost ten in that set. Somehow, in my mind, I'd already be up to surely 14 or whatever. So I had to chuck negative thoughts aside and crank out the rest. I did the first two sets pretty strongly, and then my knees started dropping in the last bit of the third set. The fourth set was surprisingly strong to start, and then I had to resort to knees for the last half. The fifth set was a blur, and then, for the last eight, I did my best to hold myself up, no knees, and I closed my eyes. Those last eight salutations went by quickly. I got into a zone, a surprisingly joyous zone...it was a big sense of accomplishment.

It was very relaxing afterwards. I couldn't believe how much I'd sweated...the room was pretty packed, though, and it was certainly the most rigorous yoga class I've been to in a long while. It's been eons since I've been to anything but a yin class, and, gosh, I kind of miss the other poses now, even though I've been getting back into them on my own. So maybe I'll use some of my free classes for non-yin classes. Yes, there were door prizes and I won 5 free classes! that's a good omen. :)

It was still too cold for the dog, so I walked home, ate lunch, and then went for a run on my own. My body didn't feel too bad then, but I was definitely somewhat trashed....it was a very slow run. Things weren't sore, just not moving at the usual speed. I took it easy and coasted around for 5.57 miles.

Now I'm pretty sore, mainly in my arms and, strangely, hamstrings. They started hurting during the end of the run, so I cut it short and abandoned my mileage goal for the week: over 40 miles. I did do some exercises targeting them yesterday, so maybe they're still recovering from that. At any rate, I'm really tired. But happy.

The best part of this is that, while there's six months remaining of the deployment, it'll be broken up by a two week visit :) Yes, my husband still hasn't taken R&R. That's something to look forward to, and only a few months away! Work and school will keep me busy until then.

Somehow, Christmas has totally been off my radar this year, but that's a good way to kill another week or so.