wah wah wah

What a crybaby!

So I decided that I'm mainly just fetch-me-my-brown-trou terrified over this ultra. Maybe. I don't feel scared so much as bored with the idea, but maybe I really am making excuses. The main thing I'm concerned with is the heart issues, but what good will waiting around for two weeks do me? might as well run.

And though I keep thinking that my training has been shoddy this spring, it hasn't been too bad. I've already done 5 runs in the 16 to 26 mile range. Almost every week has been around 50 miles/week. I've done speedwork. I was doing core work pretty regularly (have slipped some)

And I still have five weeks to go. I won't do much of a peak/taper, so I have four more weeks to do some solid work. Especially core work. I have to get back into that. And yoga. I haven't been since my husband arrived. That could be why I'm falling apart.

My mom and I went to the women's event at Bushtaka (sp?). They had a couple of motivational speakers which was kind of neat...I'm usually sort of jaded with that sort of thing, but this one woman gave a story about how she visualized a goal so vividly....well, I haven't been doing that at all. Can't hurt.

How do I visualize myself in this race? In pain and delirious with odd chafe marks and possible probing by aliens...yes...but what I hope to get out of it is umpteen hours running in the forest. Running on a small narrow little path winding around trees. sometimes when I'm on a trail, everything becomes so small. Instead of a bike path or sidewalk, it's a little stretch a few inches wide. The ground is soft so I'm not going fast, either, so the stuff around the path becomes even more important. Oh, look at that rock/pinecone/dead rodent! And since I'm not moving very fast, I'm barely picking up my feet. Sometimes it feels like I'm hovering just a few inches above, looking at individual blades of grass or pine needles.

So, yeah, that's what I want. A nice jaunt in the forest. A nice relaxing jaunt.

I also realized that, yep, I need new shoes. Another pair? Well, I had bought three, but two were trail shoes (and one of those needs alterations)...I have two other trail shoes for winter that need to be put away, and about 4-5 pairs of busted road shoes. I usually wear my shoes way too long anyway, but I did ten weeks around 100K in the fall...that's like two pairs of shoes just there! And supposedly I've run another two shoes' worth already this year--I'm over 1000K. Most of that has been in trail shoes, but I have been using a couple of pairs of road shoes sometimes for long runs, and, well, they've each been through a marathon and umpteen miles and they're dead. I've had some shoes that I've worn for ages and they're still comfy--I still jog in my 3-4 year old Asics trail attacks sometimes. They're like slippers! My Nike frees are probably a year old, at least, and I've done at least a couple of 30k runs in them, and speedwork, and they're still game (albeit, sadly, temporarily misplaced somewhere, but I'm sure they'll turn up) But other shoes go flat and stiff, which is vexing.

So, while at Bushtakah (sp?), I noticed that they had shoes for sale, and I got a pair of fluffy Pearl Izumi shoes for $50. I didn't know anything about them except that they didn't feel stiff and the soles weren't hard-core stability or motion control. And they were cheap and fluffy. Fluffy is what I need now. Pampering. These shoes are like Cadillacs. I usually like the little sporty convertable type shoe, but I think I need a bit more plush to get me through these last few long runs on roads (long runs on trails...another story).

My mom has expressed an interest in going down to NY too, so that would be an added morale boost, I think.

I just have to pretend that I'm really going to go. LOL

I also looked at headlamps while in Bustahka (sp?)....I will need one. I have good night vision, but the race rules say I must have one for the start or get disqualified. I've already decided that I'm probably just going to walk for that first hour of the race anyway, so I needn't be too fussy about the headlamp. But it would be nice to have something that's not too heavy or jiggly.

I should also think of some sort of hydration system. Maybe one of those nifty camelbacks for runners things. I have an army one that I've worn for several 9+ hr hikes, but I'm not sure if I can run with it comfortably. Will see.

At any rate, it's kind of funny....I never before really believed in the motivating power of shopping, but getting those shoes and looking at the other things in the store really helped.